Melancholy

All my life I have endured being melancholy and suffering inhibiting bouts of depression. I learned to turn to the reading of poems and fiction to hide, handle the moods and bring me out of depression. Many years my only friends were the poems of Edgar Lee Masters, Carl Sandburg, Emily Dickinson, Stephen Crane, Edgar Allan Poe, and some others. I eventually discovered musical poems (songs that could be poems) and the uplifting thoughts from quotes. I still have my poetry journal and some of my poems (6/16/15 and 5/21/13 blogs are two).

I feel fortunate that I did not turn to alcohol or drugs or suicide to handle the depression. I am sure this contributes to my food addiction. I feel fortunate that I did not become a lonely taciturn man like my father. I fear becoming like him if I retire.

I have been asked what lead to the love of lighthouses. In high school I wanted to be a lighthouse keeper as you can maintain the navigation aids without much personal interaction. I believed it to be the prefect solitude occupation with isolation and time for reading. Alas, all the lighthouses in this country became automated except the Boston Light.

It is clear that the above lead to the Boyd & Nicholas, Inc. lighthouse, the newsletter Points of Light, (contact Selise, ssmith@simione.com<mail to:ssmith@simione.com> if you want to see past issues or sign up) and even this blog.

I started out with all of this for me and became interested in sharing with others. I often write the blog for myself, my children and grandchildren to express my feelings, share my thoughts and hopes for them even as I know they may not read or understand.

melancholy

 

 

 

 

 

Behold the Image
Bright and Clear
To those never near

Near the Image
Behold the Things Feared

Strange it seems, Stranger still
The never near image
Is needed for three
You and me and we

 

 

 

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6 Responses to Melancholy

  1. Chris says:

    Beautiful poem Tom, and I have enjoyed the others and your blogs. I can appreciate the insight and courage it takes to reveal so much. You are an expressive writer. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself.😻

  2. Larry Leahy says:

    Thanks for sharing my friend On Tue, Feb 7, 2017 at 11:14 AM The Boyd and Nicholas Blog wrote:

    > Boyd & Nicholas posted: “All my life I have endured being melancholy and > suffering inhibiting bouts of depression. I learned to turn to the reading > of poems and fiction to hide, handle the moods and bring me out of > depression. Many years my only friends were the poems of Edgar Le” >

  3. Cremson Turfley says:

    Tom – I always enjoy reading your blog. One of my favorite poems is Choose Something Like a Star by Robert Frost. Since you have rallied throughout your life to not embody your father’s negative attributes I highly doubt you will give up that fight when you retire…that doesn’t sound like the Tom I know and respect.

  4. Shirin Zaman says:

    Tom
    Come check out the light houses in Michigan
    We have some beautiful ones, nothing but awesome !
    Shirin

  5. sophiasflowers says:

    Wonderful story as you know so many of us suffer from depression to many degrees. I understand it well. Thank Nancy for sharing your blog. I will look forward to it.

  6. Tom (going by other comments) or Nancy,

    My heartfelt gratitude to you for sharing about your melancholy.

    I heard a grown woman’s mother tell her to just get over it! Another friend was told that ‘drugs’ were not the answer even though the drugs were antidepressants prescribed by a physician.

    Worse… Every single day it seems I read about patients who are obviously depressed but it is never addressed in a clinical record. You found a way through your depression with poetry. Walking helps ward off depression. When I start to slide down that slippery path from boredom to depression, I take pictures. I read an article today about a nutrition study for depression. Medications have evolved from the tricyclics of old to newer meds with less side effects.

    But as long as we view depression as ‘weakness’, patients will be reluctant to talk about it. As long as nurses believe that patients have a choice about depression or that they are just feeling sorry for themselves or that they really can’t do anything about it, it doesn’t really matter what help is available.

    About the only thing that offers a chance of changing the status quo is people like you – strong and brave enough to share you journey through depression. When someone who needs that light is able to behold the things feared they might just take the steps needed.

    I like lighthouses, too. Not as much as pink flamingos but I like them just the same.

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