With My Own Two Hands

“With My Own Two Hands”

I can change the world
With my own two hands
Make it a better place
With my own two hands
Make it a kinder place
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can make peace on earth
With my own two hands
I can clean up the earth
With my own two hands
I can reach out to you
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I’m going to make it a brighter place
With my own two hands
I’m going to make it a safer place
With my own two hands
I’m going to help the human race
With my own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands
I can hold you
With my own two hands
I can comfort you
With my own two hands
But you’ve got to use
Use your own two hands
Use your own
Use your own two hands
With our own
With our own two hands
With my own
With my own two hands

 

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The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

 

By Oriah

Don’t Stop Believin

You think the world should see things your way
Love, I know you, you think good fortune’s here to stay
Love, I know you shined in everything you tried before
Your smile can open any door

But on those days when nobody wants to know you
And all your smiles keep falling on stoney ground
Don’t stop believin’, don’t stop believin’
Don’t stop believin’, you’ll get by
Bad days, bad days will hurry by

You never chase your dreams, they find you
Love, I know you, if you need love, it finds you too
Love, although you sail alone and free
I’ll follow in your wake
And pray one day my heart you’ll take

But on those days when nobody wants to know you
And all your smiles keep falling on stoney ground
Don’t stop believin’, don’t stop believin’
Don’t stop believin’, you’ll get by
Bad days, bad days will hurry by

Gone Too Soon

https://youtu.be/GCyqhi55O-8

 

“Gone Too Soon”

Today could have been the day,
That you blow out your candles,
Make a wish as you close your eyes.

Today could have been the day,
Everybody was laughing,
Instead I just sit here and cry,

Who would you be?
What would you look like,
When you looked at me for the very first time?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.

Not a day goes by,
That I don’t think of you,
I’m always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.

Would you have been president
Or a painter, an author, or sing like your mother?
One thing is evident,
Would’ve given all I had,
Would’ve loved you like no other.

Who would you be,
What would you look like,
Would you have my smile and her eyes?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.

Not a day goes by,
That I don’t think of you,
I’m always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.

Not a day goes by,
Oh
I’m always asking why.

Not a day goes by,
That I don’t think of you,
I’m always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a beautiful light we never knew,
Gone too soon,
You were gone too soon
Yeah.

Not a day goes by,
That I don’t think of you.

Lorelei Lea 02/05/2008 – 9/27/2008

Love is my Religion

https://youtu.be/-8oAGvFxevw

Love is My Religion

Love is my religion,
Love is my religion,
Love is my religion
I’ll take you to the temple tonight

All my days I’ve been searching,
To find out what this life is worth
Through the books and bibles of time
I’ve made up my mind
I don’t condemn, I don’t convert,
This is a calling have you heard
Bring all the lovers to the fold,
‘Cause no one is gonna lose their soul

Love is my religion,
Love is my religion,
Love is my religion
Hey you can take it or leave it,
And you don’t have to believe it

I don’t want to fight,
Hey let’s go fly a kite
There’s nothing that we can’t cure,
And I’ll keep you in my arms for sure
So don’t let nobody stop us,
Free spirits have to soar
With you I share the gift,
The gift that we now know oh oh oh

Love is my religion,
Love is my religion,
Love…

Love is my religion,
Love is my religion,
Love is my religion
Hey you can take it or leave it,
And you don’t have to believe it

Well I’m done searching now,
I found out what this life is worth
Not in the books that I find,
But by searching my mind
I don’t condemn, I don’t convert
This is the calling have you heard,
Bring all the lovers to the fold
No one is gonna lose their soul

Love is my religion,
Love is my religion,
Love is my religion
Hey you can take it or leave it,
And you don’t have to believe it

Love is my religion,
Love is my religion,
Love is my religion
Hey you can take it or leave it,
Now that you believe

Songwriter: Ziggy Marley

Dedicated to my Son Aaron Michael and his lovely wife Jeri Lynn on their 19th Wedding Anniversary.

Love Should not be Silent

In 1979 I took two classes thru a junior college in downtown Oakland, California.  The classes were “Creative Divorce” and “Living Divorced” based on the book by Mel Krantzler.  In the first class I met the best man at my future wedding, Patricia Speka, and the instructor who would perform my wedding in 1985 and that of my son, Colin in 2012, Rog Carrington.  In the second class which started on September 12, 1979 I met Nancy Lynn Larsen (Burnham).

Later that year I began dating Nancy, December 14, 1979,  and we became public as a couple by having lunch at work on Good Friday April 4 1980. We both worked at Blue Cross and while in different departments we did not really care to have our co-workers at Blue Cross know we were dating.

On March 24, 1980 Nancy told me that she loved me. I was speechless and could barely respond with “that’s nice, thank you”.  Despite being 31 years of age I had only heard those words from my Mother and my ex-wife.  Both, in different ways, had abused me with their actions because I had said “love” to them.  I felt love for Nancy, but, like an abused puppy, was fearful of expressing it and having it used against me.  Nancy’s comment and my torment, anxiety, fears lead me to seek weekly counseling from a licensed MFCC.

On August 5, 1980 I told Nancy that I loved her.  I don’t give all the credit to the intervening four months of counseling but to being slightly drunk from the party we were attending.  Wine can be a good therapy tool.  Nancy would tell me that the period of time between our mutual sayings of love was hard on her but that she felt that I loved her and I treated her as if I did.  She was patient and not pushing for affirmation in the meantime.

I don’t recall ever having told my Father or Brother that I loved them or ever hearing that from either and do recall trying to avoid saying that to my Mother.  I regret all of that.  I am very happy that I said it to Nancy and will say it again.  I love you Nancy Lynn!

Love should not be silent!

My 18th Birthday

My 18th birthday

I spent my 18th birthday (September 8th) in army basic training. In the 6th week of basic training every recruit threw a live grenade and this day in 1966 was my turn to do so.

The procedure was that the recruit would squat in a shallow hole on a concert pallet and facing him would be his grenade buddy–the drill instructor. The step by step process would end with the two standing up, waiting three seconds (I didn’t wait) and the recruit tossing the grenade over a four foot concert wall and both ducking down. In the event the grenade was dropped or did not get over the wall the procedure was to kick or toss the grenade under the pallet where there was a hole for that purpose. Some yards back behind us there was a shielded platform where the officers and others could safety observe the actions.

This presented two problems (1) in practice with a weighted dummy grenade I could barely get it to go a few yards and (2) I am left handed and left handled soldiers hold the grenade in their left hand and held upside down with pin to be pulled from the bottom rather than the top. This was a scary combination to the drill instructors and perhaps to the recruit. We had heard tales of mishaps in previous training companies.

The company master (Top) sergeant, already a Vietnam veteran, and an old man in his mid-30s elected to be my grenade buddy. As he had a choice he clearly was a leader as he could have passed the assignment to another drill instructor. (They may have felt they had cause to fear me with a live grenade and none of them had been to Vietnam yet).

As we waiting our turn for the toss and going thru the steps I realized that the Top was nervous if not afraid and rightly so as we can all understand. It was the first time I had observed that behavior and it puzzled me given the “safe” training conditions and his combat experience. It also was a blessing to me as it calmed me down and made me realize for the first time in my life that I was not the only nervous or scared person. My toss went over the wall and I heard from others it did not go very far.

Basic training was hell (Degrees of Hell, blog 4/15/14 https://boydandnicholas.wordpress.com/2014/04/15/degrees-of-hell/ ) and was the preclude to Vietnam (My War Days, blog 7/29/14, https://boydandnicholas.wordpress.com/2014/07/29/my-war-days/)

I did not ever again toss a live grenade for which I and my fellow soldiers were forever grateful.

Try Everything

“Try Everything”

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I messed up tonight, I lost another fight
I still mess up but I’ll just start again
I keep falling down, I keep on hitting the ground
I always get up now to see what’s next

Birds don’t just fly, they fall down and get up
Nobody learns without getting it wrong

I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
‘Til I reach the end and then I’ll start again
No I won’t leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
‘Til I reach the end and then I’ll start again
No, I won’t leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Try everything
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Try everything
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Try everything
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Look how far you’ve come, you filled your heart with love
Baby you’ve done enough, take a deep breath
Don’t beat yourself up, don’t need to run so fast
Sometimes we come last, but we did our best

I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
‘Til I reach the end and then I’ll start again
No I won’t leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
‘Til I reach the end and then I’ll start again
No I won’t leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail

I’ll keep on making those new mistakes
I’ll keep on making them every day
Those new mistakes

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Try everything
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Try everything
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Try everything
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Try everything


 

Don’t Worry ‘Bout A Thing’

Ever been misunderstood, misused, or misled
Ever knocked on the sky
and had it fall on your head
well, don’t worry ’bout it, don’t worry
Ever lost your luggage, your marbles,
your house
Or found yourself in bed with Uncle Sam or Mickey Mouse
Ever been accused of murder on Music Row
Or caught in morning traffic when you
really gotta go – Oh no!
Life is funny, life’s a mess
Sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing
Don’t worry ’bout a thing, don’t worry ’bout it
Life gets sticky, life can bruise
Sometimes you win sometimes your losing
No matter what it brings
Don’t worry ’bout a thing

Ever sat yourself down when the
seat is all wet
Or see your “ex” sucking face with
a little brunette
Don’t worry ’bout it, no don’t worry
Ever lost your religion, ever lost your
best friend
Or found your last record in the bargain bin
Or been stuck in a divorce like crazy glue
Or scraped someone else’s gum off the
bottom of your shoe – Boo hoo!
Don’t worry, don’t worry

We all got a little junk in the trunk
And when you’re feelin’ good as sunk
Remember, everything will be just fine
If I laugh at yours then you’ll laugh at mine

Don’t worry, don’t worry

Life gets sticky, life can bruise
Sometimes you win sometimes your losing
No matter what it brings
Don’t worry ’bout a thing

I Wish you Enough

At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, “I love you, I wish you enough.”

She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.” They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?” I asked.

“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, ” he said.

“When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?”

He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.

“When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Good-bye.”

He then began to sob and walked away.

By Brighteyes  [ Original story by Bob Perks, in Chicken Soup For the Grieving Soul ]