The Nails We Lay On


The Nails We Lay On

A man went to visit a friend in the bayous of Louisiana. On the front porch the man’s trusty old hound was moaning lowly. Puzzled, he asked if the dog were in pain. His friend replied that the dog was laying on a nail.

Confused he asked, “Why doesn’t he get off it?” In a slow southern drawl he said, “Well, I guess it doesn’t hurt that bad.”

This is known as “toleration.” These are little things that we can do something about but lack the motivation because they just don’t hurt bad enough. The papers on our desk, the additional five pounds, the extra effort at work that seems to always be put off until tomorrow or to next week.

We are tolerating more than we think. We put up with and are dragged down by other people’s unmet needs and problems as well as our own behavior and incompletions.

What nails are we laying on? Write down what we are putting up with. Not what we can’t change or have no control over, but things like that five pounds that don’t bug us enough to go to the gym or the pile of papers that has been sitting on the corner of our desk the last three weeks.

These tolerations little by little sap our energy. They nibble away at who we are. Write down one each morning and have it be gone by evening. Do this for one week. If it makes a difference in your life, each week you will become a stronger you.

52Best Website: ” The Nails We Lay On “


Respecting the Elderly

Today’s society has lost a huge part of its compassion. The world of media brings loss, pain, and tragedy into our lives at an overwhelming rate. As a people, we’ve become desensitized to the core values we were taught as children.

Baby Boomers were raised by parents or loved ones who believed in the validity of a handshake and the importance of treating others as they themselves expected to be treated. The golden rule we learned as children, carried meaning to our parents and grandparents. They held tight to work ethic, honesty, integrity, faith, and dignity.

As our parents age, they are faced with the realization and loss of these basic staples of life. It’s a painful process when they must accept the inability to stand alone, loss of their independence or worse, the need to depend on someone else to do what they value as important.

When patience runs low or feeling of deep frustration strike, step back and reflect on the dignity that is owed to aging parents. Keep in mind what is hard for us as children is tenfold for our parents. The aging process brings with it seasons of joy, but it also carries fear and loss of personal worth. The “what if’s” of life become vivid reality and the aging parent find themselves torn between dependence and independence.

Learning the process of aging takes time. It requires family involvement; children and siblings must find ways to explore the changing needs of our seniors in order to make the transition of seasons smooth and less stressful.

As parents age, our own sense of reality is affected. The parents who willingly helped us along the way, suddenly require our help. Tasks that were once easy for them become labored or fall to the wayside, and we’re taken back by their loss…our loss.

Preparation and education are necessary evils no one wants to face. But following these reminders will help family members reserve the dignity of their elderly.

Repetition is not uncommon. Remember as parents grow older and begin to repeat questions, there was a time when we, as children, constantly asked “Why?” Keep in mind the patience our parents exemplified in teaching us and exercise that same diligence with them.

When they can’t seem to recall your name, remember there was a time when the only name we could repeat, was theirs. “Momma, Daddy.” When their movements are slow and tedious, keep in mind, it was their loving hands which steadied us as we toddled. If a meal ends up on their clothes instead of in their mouths, don’t forget who patiently taught us to feed ourselves and then gently swiped the goo from our fingers.

As our parents continue to grow older and personal cleanliness becomes a problem, it was they who walked us through potty training and who bathed the mud from our childhood antics, then re-cleaned the tub for the ump-teenth time. And when they lose their confidence after a fall, remember the numerous times they held us close after a tumble, then encouraged us to forge ahead. It was our parents who cheered us through the rough times as a child and who allowed us to lean against them as adults.

When the frustration of the added “stuff”—walkers, canes, or wheelchairs which have to be lugged out the door and to the car just to take them to the post office, remember the diaper bags, the bottles, the extra clothes, snacks, and “stuff” they toted off their shoulder, while you rested on their hip, legs dangling, and arms squeezing their necks. It was a chore then and it’s still a chore, but worth the effort—worth the love.

And most of all, when they meet with the fears of forgetfulness and the anxieties of being in unfamiliar surroundings, remember how they stood in the background, just in view, encouraging you to step forward, “You can do it!”

Finally, when the reality they cannot be left alone digs deep into their hearts, remember they never left us alone, afraid, or ignored us as small children, but they kept us


close at hand, always watching, always present…always there.

When the roles reverse, remember to love and treat our aging seniors with dignity and honor—for without them, we would be nothing




Life, Love, & Laughter


Life, Love & Laughter

Don’t look back, it won’t do any good
Don’t look ahead you’ll just be misunderstood
Everything you need could be right in front of you
It doesn’t take much to see what is true
They say we are going to die if we go on like this
Who do you believe? Every story has a twist
Take a look around, tell me what you see
People in the world just trying to be free
What about all those things you could have done but you don’t?
They say things happen for a reason, you don’t do them, they won’t

I’m looking for life, love and laughter

Everything in between and what happens after
I’m looking for life, lookin for love, lookin for laughter

Things are gunna change, they never stay the same
That’s why we’re fighting a war but the people are to blame
You can only stand up for what you believe
Don’t be blinded by the power of greed
What about all those things you could have done but you don’t?
They say things happen for a reason, you don’t do them, they won’t

I’m looking for life, love and laughter
Everything in between and what happens after
I’m looking for life, love and laughter
Everything in between and what happens after
Looking for laughter

We got everything we need
All the money in the world, want to buy what we see
Dreams are worth more than gold
Some people hold on, some people let go
The stars all come out at night
The velvet sky, all so bright
I feel so close to you
Because I see what you see too

I’m looking for life, love and laughter
Everything in between and what happens after
Looking for life
I’m looking for life, love and laughter
Everything in between and what happens after
What happens after!
I’m looking for life, love and laughter
Everything in between and what happens after
What happens after?


Preview YouTube video Donavon Frankenreiter – Life, Love & Laughter

Donavon Frankenreiter – Life, Love & Laughter



Home Care: The Main Thing

Home Care: The Main Thing

I have a collection of buttons gathered over the years at various state and national meetings of home care associations at which I was a presenter. Three of them say:

  • “There’s no place like home.”
  • “Home care is where the heart is.”
  • “Home care professionals keep families together.”

All of the above was true when the buttons were received and remains true today!


Home care providers of all types, including home health agencies, hospices, private duty agencies and home medical equipment (HME) companies must keep their eyes on the ball, and “the ball” is these three things!

YES! Home care providers must provide excellent care to patients!

YES! Home care providers must provide cost-effective care!

YES! Home care providers must keep patients out of emergency rooms!

YES! Home care providers must keep patients out of hospitals!

But the main thing is HOME!

Home care providers are bombarded these days with regulatory changes; audits; denials; appeals; reimbursement and payment changes; surveys; requirements for complete, accurate documentation; non-compliant/adherent patients; families who are difficult to work with; patients with high acuities; unreliable primary caregivers; and difficult requests from referral sources.

And let’s not forget animals! Attack geese! A home care field staff member who came face to face with a pet alligator in a mobile home in Louisiana named Bubba! A different kind of face-to-face encounter, for sure!

And on and on the list goes.

It seems that there are many who do not understand the home care industry and may even think that it’s easy to provide home care. Even a cursory look makes it clear that this is emphatically not the case. It is tough and it’s easy to lose sight of the Main Thing.

Regardless of where patients call home, including continuing care retirement communities (CRCs) and assisted living facilities (ALFs), that’s where patients want to be. The MAIN THING for home care providers is to help patients stay home. In the midst of competing demands, let’s not lose sight of the MAIN THING!

Elizabeth Hogue

(877) 871-4062

School Prayer

In the name of daybreak
and the eyelids of morning
and the wayfaring moon
and the night when it departs,

I swear I will not dishonor
my soul with hatred
but offer myself humbly
as a guardian of nature,
as a healer of misery,
as a messenger of wonder
as an architect of peace.

In the name of the sun and its minors
and the day that embraces it
and the cloud veils drawn over it
and the uttermost night
and the male and the female
and the plants bursting with seed
and the crowning seasons of the firefly
and the apple, I will honor all life

—wherever and in whatever form
it may dwell—on Earth my home,
and in the mansions of the stars.

Diane Ackerman

Sexual Harassment

Most of my life I have been oblivious to sexual harassment going on around me or within my environments. The following events are my sum total of direct knowledge in this area.


  1. The army sent me to Germany after Vietnam where I drank and ate way too much. At one party a fellow soldier, Roger, made a rather direct pass at me while we both drank. I was shocked, surprised and stunned. Did I look gay?  It hurt my feelings as I thought he was a friend and I had so few friends.  I ran out of the club and got a cab back to the barracks.  He followed me into the barracks and up four flights of stairs. My saying NO was apparently was not loud and clear enough.  I kept running and lost him that night.  The next day he approached me and said he could recall nothing from the night before.  I left it at that.  Shortly thereafter he approached the wrong guy and that dude and his friends put him in the hospital.  After he recovered he was discharged from the army.  I felt guilty for not warning or reminding him that our fellow soldiers would do that to him and that the army would discharge him for being homosexual.  I wondered if I had punched him would that have gotten the message across with less severe consequences to him. (1960s)


  1. I went on a date with Charlene and we both got smashed at dinner. I drove us to her place and we should have taken a cab.  Once there we started kissing on her bed and she suddenly became semi-conscious.  She was a looker and had a reputation of being a “free spirt”.  For a few seconds I considered pursing the intended course of action as her “no” was not very forceful.  Instead I took off her shoes and pulled the bed cover over her.  I drove home drunk which was stupid and scary, should have crashed on her couch.  She never said a word about our date to me or as far as I know to our mutual friends.  We also never had another date or talked about our one date.  I wish I had warned her to be more aware but it did not occur to me. (1970s)


  1. When I was working at Blue Cross this very attractive young lady started there as an Auditor I. Pam was also smart and she left her job as a cocktail witness (took a pay cut in changing careers) to go back to St. Mary’s College to get her degree.  She had been working at Blue Cross for about six months when she was assigned to Stan and me for her first Medicare audit of a big hospital.  We were surprised to discover how little she had learned in six months of training and working in the office.  She told us that she had no training but that the supervisor kept her in his office and spent his time (and hers) talking about work, his bad marriage and asking her to have sex, which she said she refused.  She said this often happened at the bars where she had worked but she did not know how to handle this with a professional person who was also her supervisor.  We told her she should tell Human Resources or the Director of the Audit Department about the sexual harassment.  She did not want to and would not because she felt it would hurt her while she was at Blue Cross and after.  Stan and I should have informed HR or the Director of the situation.  Pam stayed at Blue Cross three or four years and left for a hospital job.  The last I heard she was a CFO at a hospital in Washington State. (1980s)


I never had an awareness, training or education about sexual harassment. It would have helped me and others if I had.




Wednesday March 7th is my 50th anniversary of leaving Vietnam. I never thought I would see this day. 


Vietnam and Me Blog (8/22/12)

 I joined the army at age 17 in July 1966. I was certainly young, stupid, and innocent. When I got out in 1969 I was not old enough to drink and got kicked out of Caesar’s in Reno. I had certainly changed and was also perhaps a little less stupid.

 I went to Vietnam March 9, 1967 and returned March 7, 1968, a long 363 days. The Tet Offensive of 1968 was a terrible surprise for which I still blame General Westmoreland. I was not a hero or a leader. I was often afraid and just a common GI of the 199th Light Infantry Brigade. While in Vietnam I spent a week in a military hospital, not for wounds but for food poisoning (figures, the army cooks gave me bad canned tuna). I went and came back as a private (E4).

Being a Vietnam Vet in 1969 was not politically correct. At junior college one young lady spit at me and called me a baby killer. At least one other declined to go have a soda because I had not gone to Canada to avoid the war. And no one thanked me for my service or going to war. Two years ago Heather Rooney and Laura Neisius thanked me (thank you again ladies) and they were the first and only to do so.

 Sometimes when I am in DC I stop by “The Wall” and say hello to friends and former colleagues. I never have understood why my name is not on the wall when so many smarter people are listed. Some of them could have been the Abe Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Nelson Mandela, or Albert Einstein of my generation. With all respect the Vietnam vets Senators Kerry and Gore are not of the same caliber but then few are. As Joel Osteen says, “if God has put a period on it then don’t make it a question mark.” I have finally quit asking why.


War Days  (blog 7/29/14)

The picture and the YouTube, neither of me, shows most of what I did while in Vietnam with the 199th light Infantry brigade when not filling sandbags or literally burning shit (true, we burned it to get rid of it). Most of the time we traveled by helicopter with the 106 on a sling under the helicopter to be dumped in the jungle, swamp, or rice fields; or secondary (with much personal preference) we rode in a jeep with the gun mounted on the jeep too.

 The funny part, I was not trained to be a grunt (infantry) nor a gun bunny (artillery). I was trained to be an artillery surveyor (graduated 3rd in class of about 80). HQS decided they did not need my skills and assigned me to the 106 platoon. I blame Mickey Mouse as I was reading a comic book when the Sargent arrived to pick a volunteer and Tompkins was writing a letter to his wife, I got the pick. (Tompkins, who barely graduated in the same surveyor class, spent a lazy safe year at HQS shuffling papers, good for him).

 Life is funny. I did not serve in my trained job but I was better off than many others. While in Vietnam I spent a week in the hospital but it was for food poisoning. I had a battle field operation but it was for an ingrown toenail. I went thru the Tet Offensive of 1968 but was protecting base camp and not looking for the Viet Cong as they came storming at us (bad call there). Two bee hive rounds from the 106 by another outfit killed 67 Viet Cong.

 I did not like Vietnam and have no plans for visiting.  I would have to be 165 years old before it got on my bucket list.  It took until about 1979 before fireworks did not cause me anxiety, or jumping and it took until about 1999 to stop being prejudice against Vietnamese.

  Vietnam Related Blogs

My 18th Birthday 9/5/17

Degrees of Hell  4/15/14

Twice a Hero       5/9/17

POW-MIA          1/17/17

The Wall             3/6/16




Relish is the name of a small café in Fort Bragg California.

It is open “Monday-Sunday from 1130 am -5 pm” and their business card states they serve “Hot Dogs/ Salads & Wrap” while their menu had more listed.

They do not have a website but are on Facebook. They could use some marketing help.

Their business card also has the following:


Enjoy, Savor, Delight, Taste, Fancy,

Favor, Like, Shine,  Love “

I like to think their description is appropriate for life as it is for food. I hope and suspect they know that.


Never Stop Learning

I think it’s an appropriate time to talk about the importance of being a lifelong student. If you want to stay ahead of your competition you have to ALWAYS be learning something new in your field.

The reason that many people underachieve in their careers is that they become complacent with what they’ve learned to get where they’re at. But you can’t do that!

Learning is the minimum requirement for success.

Like I said, every industry is constantly growing; tactics are always changing, the amount of data to analyze is expanding, and competition is getting more fierce. This means that your knowledge must also continually increase to keep up. Your ability to expand your mind and strive for lifelong learning is critical to your success. By dedicating yourself to learning, you can get ahead in every aspect of your life. All it takes is commitment.

There are three kinds of learning that you can acquire to help you become a student of life:

  1. Maintenance Learning

This kind of learning keeps you up-to-date within your field. Many people think that reading an occasional book and keeping current with blogs and newsletters is the equivalent of adding to their education.

Maintenance learning is the same as checking the stock market reports each day to find out the sales prices of various stocks and securities. This information does not add to your knowledge of the companies, the market, or the investment potential of a particular stock, but it keeps you up to speed.

Doing this type of learning is similar to light physical exercise. It won’t increase your level of fitness, but it will keep you in shape.

  1. Growth Learning

This kind of learning adds knowledge and skills to your repertoire that you did not have that enables you to do things that you could not do previously. We’re blessed to live in a time with so many innovative thought leaders, so incredible continuous learning material is never too far out of reach.

You can find this information by doing a quick search online and discovering podcasts, blogs, books, online courses, etc. that can give you great ideas. (Hint: my blog is one of them)

  1. Shock Learning

This kind of learning contradicts or reverses a piece of knowledge or understanding that you already have. It can be extremely valuable if you act upon it. The “shock” can give you insights that can enable you to either take advantage of a major change in the marketplace or guard against a serious reversal.

Unfortunately, most people are creatures of habit. When something happens that is completely unexpected, they choose to ignore it in favor of the old information with which they are comfortable. Don’t be afraid of change. Always change and adapt.

Class is in session:

  1. Read at least one hour per day in your chosen field. One hour a day will translate into approximately one book a week which is approximately fifty books over the next twelve months.
  2. Read and subscribe to the trade publications that contain articles and stories relevant to your field, such as Forbes, Fortune, BusinessWeek, The Wall Street Journal. One good idea is all you need to gain a competitive advantage.
  3. Invest 3% of your income back to yourself for upgrading your knowledge and moving towards personal development. 3% does not seem like a lot, but the impact on your life and career will be so extraordinary.
  4. Read books written by experts in your field. You should only read books written by people who are active practitioners of their craft.
  5. Take a speed-reading course to learn how to accelerate the amount that you read and retain. You will learn how to get through more reading material in two hours a day than many people get through in a week.

Remember when we were in school and our teachers would ask us what we want to be when we grow up? Well, now I’m asking you, as a lifelong student: how do you see your life changing after you commit to a life of continuous learning?

Brian Tracy

Oak Tree


Oak Tree

If you wait for me by the old oak tree

I’ll carve my name next to yours

Cross my heart, hope to never die

Because a love like you just can’t be mine

Are you the shooting star I went looking for


Will you wait for me, Will you wait for me

Time stops when I’m with you

Will you wait for me, Will you wait for me

It’s many miles but I’ll be running home to you


So many colors in your eyes

Is it love or is it lies

I don’t know but god it’s so damn beautiful

You hold my hand when it gets dark

Every kiss there is a spark that lights the night

We all surrender too


Will you wait for me, Will you wait for me

Time stops when I’m with you

Will you wait for me, Will you wait for me

It’s many miles but I’ll be running home to you


And I know that the leaves are going to change

Know it won’t all stay the same

But it’s better than goodbye

It’s better than goodbye

It’s better than goodbye


And if you wait for me by the old oak tree

I’ll carve my name next to yours

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